From pp. 172-256 of Excellent Women
The ending is somewhat unconventional for a comedy (no weddings!), but it does leave things open. The question about whether or not Mildred does or will lead a "full life" is raised and perhaps answered - in a typically oblique way - in the closing passage. The fact that Mildred is referring to Helena's concept of a “full life” and puts the expression in quotation marks suggests that she already knows her life is full and needn't conform to Helena's or society-at-large's view of the full life. If a full life means getting married, then Mildred isn't there, but Pym leaves that possibility open with the calling off of Julian and Allegra's engagement and the work that Mildred agrees to do for Everard. Taken further than a conventional view, a full life might mean one that combines male and female attributes in one person. In this respect, Mildred does seem to adopt qualities that are both stereotypically female (all of those teas she prepares for those unburdening themselves to her) and male (speaking more frankly towards the end of the novel, e.g., during the planning of the Christmas bazaar). Nearly all of the novel covers have blurbs comparing Pym to Jane Austen, a subtly subversive social critic. What is Pym holding up for questioning? Is it simply that marriage/full life question? I don’t think so. In her memoir Reading Lolita in Tehran, Azar Nafisi examines “blindness and empathy” in Austen’s work. I think this contrast is also at the heart of Excellent Women. Mildred witnesses characters who possess many noble and ignoble qualities; she admits to many of the latter in herself. But throughout the book she does prove to exhibit empathy. It is a quality that requires self-awareness, courage and effort. It might be the most excellent thing to gain and share.
"'Oh, respect and esteem - such dry bones! I suppose one can really have feelings for somebody but I should have thought one would almost dislike a person who inspired them." (Pym 190)
Mildred considers that when one has "respect and esteem" for a woman, the words are euphemisms for someone who's dull and reliable. The "dry bones" metaphor connects with Everard nicely. His last name is Bones and he does invite Mildred for dinner to have meat.
"'This may sound a cynical thing to say, but don't you think men sometimes leave difficulties to be solved by other people or to solve themselves?" (Pym 206)
Although Mildred qualifies her observation, most of the men in the novel do leave the solving of problems to others or to fate. Ironically, however, Winifred (to whom this comment is voiced) is doing the same thing in hoping that Mildred will solve her own problem (as do Helena Napier and Allegra Gray).
"If he had gone into a shop and chosen them...I pulled myself up and told myself to stop these ridiculous thoughts, wondering why it is that we can never stop trying to analyse the motives of people who have no personal interest in us, in the vain hope of finding that perhaps they may have just a little after all." (Pym 221)
Rocky brings flowers to Mildred, but they are snatched - almost as an afterthought - from his garden. The idea of choosing them from a shop as being more meaningful gets at the idea that love - or romantic feelings of love for someone - has more to do with choice and deliberation than impulsivity. Mildred uses "we" here, but is clearly speaking for herself. characterization
"Did we really need a cup of tea? I even said as much to Miss Statham and she looked at me with a hurt, almost angry look, 'Do we need tea?' she echoed. 'But Miss Lathbury...' She sounded puzzled and distressed and I began to realise that my question had struck at something deep and fundamental. It was the kind of question that starts a landslide in the mind." (Pym 227)
This seemingly innocuous question is about conventions or rituals upon which we rely for comfort and seldom think about. The metaphor at the end perfectly captures the feelings one has when facing such a large why question. The trivial becomes existential here and suggests Mildred is coming to a realization about what conventions she’ll accept.
"I promised that I would cook the meat and I felt better for having done so, for it seemed like a kind of atonement, a burden in a way and yet perhaps because of being a burden, a pleasure." (Pym 241)
The paradox of a pleasurable burden connects to a number of other contradictions at the heart of the novel. Many of Mildred’s interactions with other people could fall under this description. The idea of finding some joy out of suffering is present here and seems like an important part of Pym’s worldview.
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